Power to withstand and be transformed

The past two weeks have been very difficult for me and my family.   July 20th was the anniversary of Cadence’s death, July 25th was the anniversary of her funeral, and July 29th would have been her 2nd birthday.   Even though we’ve had the birth of a new grandson to temper the pain and grief, I’ve had my moments.  Having Drew join our family has given us great joy; however,  sometimes it’s easy to ask why or what’s the purpose for all this pain.  2 Corinthians 1:4 states, “who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” NIV What a blessing it is to be comforted by God.  What a privilege it is for Him to use me to comfort others.   God is transforming me into His instrument of comfort and hope.  Why would I want to thwart that?  The grief is hard but the rewards of being His instrument so far outweigh the pain.  My prayer is that I will be malleable so that God can change me and use me.

The Anniversary

Today is July 11 and my mind is consumed by the upcoming anniversary of Cadence’s departure to heaven – July 20, 2007.   This whole month has been difficult.  It seems like every time I turn around something reminds me of her.  An example is while I was shopping with my older daughter who is close to delivering her baby, I ran across a toy that Cadence particularly liked.  Tears came to my eyes right in the store.  In Nancy Guthrie’s book, Hope,  I quote from p. 149 – “Are your arms empty?  Perhaps God has emptied them so you will be able to wrap them around someone who is lonely.  Is your heart broken?  Perhaps God has allowed your heart to be broken so you will be more sensitive to the hurts of others.  Honor God with your heart as you open it to the hurts of others.”  Today my arms are empty and I ache to hold Cadence’s precious sweet little body.  Is my heart broken?  It’s begun mending but not completely healed.  The grief can still be so overwhelming at times, but the pain is a little less harsh.   Jesus suffered so much more than I can grasp, He is my Redeemer.  My desire is to submit to God and allow Him to use me in whatever way He wishes.  This time of grief will pass, I know.   I often think of my two little grandchildren playing around Jesus’ feet, running, skipping, and giggling, praising Him with their whole beings. 

This past Wednesday, my older daughter who’s due date is July 12th, found out her baby is breech.  This is just a little twist to the great pregnancy she has already experienced.  She and I were riding home from the drugstore on Wednesday evening after a thunderstorm.  God graced us with a double rainbow.  One was extremely bright reaching from horizon to horizon.  The other not quite as bright with only the very top missing.  We both could not take our eyes off the beautiful sight, it took our breaths away.  Again, God told us through his beautiful creation that He is in control and all will work out for our good according to His plan.